"The rapidly shifting relational identities that we bring to each conversation have the power to inspire or deflate." (Fisher, Frey & Pumpian, page 77). This statement is very powerful as I reflect on the many conversations a student has with an adult at my school throughout the day, many of them before the first period of the day, and how those conversations affect the students' agency. I know a lot of time and attention has been spent on conversations based on academic expectations, but I think the "outside of class" conversations can have an equally strong impact. "Students who decide that they do have agency increase their efforts, generate a lot of ideas, participate in conversations and group activities, and hold themselves to high standards." (page 84). If every conversation an adult has with a child at a school is with the choice words habit in mind, imagine the impact that could have on the achievements of each student.
An example. My school has a rule that students are not allowed on campus (except to have breakfast or go to the library, or if they have a pass) before the first bell rings. This rule is in place for students' safety, however I cringe a little when I think of the one-sided conversations I have had with students when they have violated this rule. I know I have employed sarcasm, and I have definitely pulled a power play, in enforcing the rule, rather than starting by asking the students "why" they are on campus when they aren't supposed to be. This habit of mind has led me to reflect on the power of engaging students in a conversation that will help me to understand their motivation, and also give them an opportunity to express to an adult why they are making the choices they are making.
How to make this a more conscious and accountable school-wide practice ... I think a good start would be to have an all-staff conversation about the importance of compliments, and recognizing that "compliments set a tone for the ways we communicate when conversations are more difficult." (page page 93) I think this can be modeled by the school leader on a regular basis, by recognizing efforts by staff in the classroom, behind the scenes, in interactions with parents and students. I know that a short and sweet compliment can make a huge difference to me when I'm having a rough day (or even when not!), and as a school leader I think it would be important to have that kind of an impact on staff on a regular basis to maintain morale and model positive communication. I believe this modeling would then demonstrate to the staff at my school how the use of choice words can be a more conscious and accountable personal practice. It should also be called out that this habit of mind, in the development of a growth mindset, will enhance the achievement of our students, and help all to be "more willing to confront problems, take risks, and persist." (page 79)
5 things I am willing to do this semester that will help my school to choose words wisely:
An example. My school has a rule that students are not allowed on campus (except to have breakfast or go to the library, or if they have a pass) before the first bell rings. This rule is in place for students' safety, however I cringe a little when I think of the one-sided conversations I have had with students when they have violated this rule. I know I have employed sarcasm, and I have definitely pulled a power play, in enforcing the rule, rather than starting by asking the students "why" they are on campus when they aren't supposed to be. This habit of mind has led me to reflect on the power of engaging students in a conversation that will help me to understand their motivation, and also give them an opportunity to express to an adult why they are making the choices they are making.
How to make this a more conscious and accountable school-wide practice ... I think a good start would be to have an all-staff conversation about the importance of compliments, and recognizing that "compliments set a tone for the ways we communicate when conversations are more difficult." (page page 93) I think this can be modeled by the school leader on a regular basis, by recognizing efforts by staff in the classroom, behind the scenes, in interactions with parents and students. I know that a short and sweet compliment can make a huge difference to me when I'm having a rough day (or even when not!), and as a school leader I think it would be important to have that kind of an impact on staff on a regular basis to maintain morale and model positive communication. I believe this modeling would then demonstrate to the staff at my school how the use of choice words can be a more conscious and accountable personal practice. It should also be called out that this habit of mind, in the development of a growth mindset, will enhance the achievement of our students, and help all to be "more willing to confront problems, take risks, and persist." (page 79)
5 things I am willing to do this semester that will help my school to choose words wisely:
- Be aware of the conversations I have with students -- move from one-sided to those that include active listening.
- In a follow-up to a previous goal (to revamp the Personal Responsibility Plans at my site), I will discuss with administration and counselors at my site how to communicate the idea of deescalating behavior, and discuss how to help teachers make that part of their classroom discipline procedures.
- Begin using "do the next right thing" in conversations with students, to empower them to consider their actions and consequences, but then to identify do-able next steps.
- Recognize the importance of silence -- work to become comfortable with the pauses that might open the door for students to add more information.
- Investigate Action Research Tool 12 with the Instructional Leadership Team at my site, and consider having the members of the ILT use this tool to look purposefully at the interactions they are having with a specific group of students and to consider strengths and weaknesses, and what can be done to improve their practice.